How to find happiness after the loss of a loved-one.


My Grandmother passed away a few months ago. I may be a seasoned medium with a persistent and ever-strengthening belief that we live on, but her death still hurt me deeply.

I cried as if I’d said goodbye forever, and I felt the doom of believing that I’d never see her again – I grieved as if I’d never even heard of mediumship, let alone being a medium myself!

Saying goodbye to my Gran reminded me that even the most faith-ful medium whose heart is filled up with Spirit can be left with a gaping hole where a loved-one once stood.

The feeling of absence, of negative-space is palpable. The emptiness that was once filled with a flesh and blood, loving, conscious person, can be one of the most painful wounds we carry.

I asked the Spirit within me for help in healing from the loss of my Gran. I did, after all, have clients to see, a book to write, a dog to walk and a fiancé to give attention to.

I love to travel, and one of my favourite places in the world is Italy. As I scrolled through images of beautiful Italy online, searching for my next destination, comfort and healing came from an unexpected source.

One of the most striking images I saw was of a ruddy great mountain cliff, with a big chunk – a big hole – torn out by nature herself. It looked the way my heart felt.

As I looked at this gorgeous image of the Amalfi coast, I first felt sad. There’s no way that cliff face could ever be healed – whatever rock, edifice, flora and fauna used to be there, it was long gone. But as I looked more closely, I realized that some clever Italian had turned this gaping hole in the side of a cliff into a stunning restaurant overlooking clear, sapphire waters, with gentle music playing from within, as its happy, relaxed and sun-kissed inhabitants enjoyed the most wonderful gnocchi, ragu, pane et vino rosso Italiano.

Photo by Jennifer Dombrowski.

I realized that the gaping hole had been turned into a space of communion, love, laughter, beauty, happiness and joy. It made me think that if such a transformation could be possible for a hole in a piece of rock, then perhaps the hole that was left in my life where my beloved Gran once stood might also be filled with love and joy.

‘How can I take this wound and turn it into love, kindness and happiness?’ I asked my Higher Self.

Some things that came up for me were to start walking and juicing again. To take some hugs and sweets to my nephews. To channel my inner burrito (with the help of my duvet) and binge on Netflix. To write about my feelings in the hopes that it will be a lighthouse to others.

Just as the rock face cannot be restored to what it was before nature took a piece away, so you will never be the same as who you were before you lost your loved one. And I will never be the same as who I was before I lost my Gran. But just as the hole in the cliff became a place of joy, so you, with self-care and tenderness, can fill the space that loss has created, with the very best of yourself – your most generous nature, your most free Spirit, your happiest self.

I have no doubt that it took a lot of time, work and dedication to turn a gouged rockface into a gorgeous restaurant, and I’m sure it will take work to turn your loss into hope and happiness.

Just like that clever Italian who saw greatness in nature’s destruction, you are a loving, creative and lively child of the Universe, and if he can turn destruction into joy, so can you.



About the Author

Lauren Robertson is a medium, a coach for mediums and a Hay House author. She specialises in helping Spirit communicators achieve accuracy, confidence and excellence in their work with Spirit. Combining compassion with a dash of Scottish humour, Lauren has conducted over 30,000 1:1 sessions, and taught and demonstrated mediumship all over the world.

Would you like to work with Lauren 1:1 to create confidence, clarity and consistency in your mediumship? Your journey begins when you click the ‘find out more’ button below…

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