13 Jan A perfect example of how NOT to stand in your own truth.
‘He’s friendly but he plays rough.’
I caught myself telling this complete and utter lie about my beloved bulldog Buckley to a stranger on our walk in the park this morning.
I caught myself apologizing that he was walking on the leash because this stranger (with her two wild barking Lhasa Apsos) was looking at him as if he was dangerous.
Buckley is not dangerous (unless you’re afraid of being licked to death) and he doesn’t play rough.
The lie slipped out before I could stop it because my subconscious mind had decided in a micro-second that it was easier to blame myself and Buckley for the awkward looks, and continue about our day, than to tell the truth…
Which is that he’s on the leash because I didn’t trust her or her dogs.
I thought SHE was being irresponsible letting her aggressive, barking dogs run about off-leash. I thought she was mad letting them approach other dogs. Buckley was on his leash because I wasn’t prepared to let him become unsupervised around dogs I didn’t know.
I didn’t feel like saying that to a perfect stranger this morning so I lied in the face of her judgemental look at me and my leashed pooch.
As Buckley and I walked on, away from the yapping cacophony of unleashed madness, I looked down at his little face and I felt like shit.
I felt like shit because his soft little folds and brown eyes looking back up at me with innocence reflected and magnified the pain of not being true to myself. I had let myself – and more accurately – my beloved baby dog take the blame for something utterly untrue and imaginary for the sake of a quiet life. And it felt awful.
I’m glad it felt awful.
Awful feelings are a good thing because they show you when you’re thinking/saying/doing something that’s out of alignment with what your soul knows is best for you.
I’m grateful for Buckley and this stranger for teaching me this very important lesson, that’s it’s VITAL to know, speak and live by my truth.
What’s bizarre is that many people (myself included) have to train ourselves to stand in our truth because we have become so expert at telling a little lie to avoid discomfort that we can’t always see clearly when we’re lying to ourselves – it’s become so second nature.
So here are a couple of things you can do to help yourself SEE, KNOW and EXPERIENCE your own truth more clearly, so that when it comes time to decide between telling your strong and possibly uncomfortable truth, or a comfy little lie, you’ll be prepared.
1. Get clear on what you value.
Do you know what’s true for you? When was the last time you really thought about whether you’re living in a way that supports and represents what’s most important to you? Consider what you value across a week, and every time something comes up strongly for you write it down in your journal. Anything could come up that feels true, valuable and important: From beliefs to emotions, experiences, people, objects, places or moral values. Give yourself a week to mentally explore the things that feel really important.
2. Bring more of what you value into your life.
As you become clear on your ‘truth’, you’ll be able to clearly see where you’re not thinking/speaking/acting in a way that’s fully representative of who you are. Set yourself the challenge that for one week, you’ll live more for what you believe in, and less of what’s expected of you.
3. Practice saying yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no.
Becoming ultra-conscious of our inner ‘yes’ and ‘no’ is a simple and very effective way to stand in our truth. There are all sorts of reasons why we say yes and no when we mean the opposite – they are rarely good reasons if they’re not the truth. We do it, as I found out today, to avoid discomfort, but at a great cost to our sense of authenticity.
Thankfully, Buckley has forgiven me for my moment of dishonesty (a plate of cooked mince did the job I think) and I have learned a valuable lesson about standing in my truth about the little things as well as the big philosophies I live my life by.
Now, I’d love to hear from you:
Is there somewhere in your life where you could stand more powerfully in your own truth? Can you think of a time when you said ‘yes’ when your heart was saying ‘no’? What does ‘standing in your truth’ mean to you?
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This is Lauren reminding you that TRUE SUCCESS IS SPIRITUAL – choose to live that reality NOW!